Monday, March 08, 2010

My 2010 Post-Oscar Critique

Having slept on it, some Oscar thoughts:

1. Host must be Billy Crystal (who gets it).
1a. If Billy says no, go to someone with guts. Ben Stiller or Sasha Baron Cohen. Even Jack Black.

2. When Sean Penn says he is not an Academy member – and he’s a two-time winner and considered “young Hollywood,” you know the membership needs to be opened up. No, don’t send an application to Miley Cyrus. But how about Kristin Stewart and Zac Efron? They’ve at least worked with people like Jodie Foster, Richard Linklater and Greg Motolla.

3. Give up the orchestra. I know “it’s Hollywood’s big night,” but all of that stuff appeals to an ever-decreasing, aging demographic. Tweens are not going to stay tuned after Miley and Lautner give out ONE award. But if you have Fall Out Boy or Good Charlotte as the house band, playing famous movie themes, at least it would pique their curiosity.

4. No presenters over the age of 50. Wouldn’t that be something? And there will be enough winners in that age range.

5. Dress casual neat. Designers, other homosexuals, and E! Television will have a stroke, but nothing turns off younger audiences like a room full of old dudes and dames in formal wear. And seeing teen idols trying to “act old” only creeps them out.

6. Give the producers a “hard out.” You never hear about the Tony Awards running into overtime. If they had to make the judgment call and cut the five-minute dance number OR lose Best Picture being announced live (and not on the Internet post-show), what do you think they would choose?

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