Ben's Playlist - Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Cousin Max Is Prepared to Rock - Bill and Ella
Warm Fronts, Cold Fronts - Tom Glazer
Landed - Ben Folds Presents: The University Of Colorado Buffoons
Starman - Killian Mansfield
Keep On Walking - Jem
Story of My Life - Guard & Fairytale Creatures
What Kind of Dog Are You? - Billy Jonas
Yeah Yeah Yeah Song - Flaming Lips
Troublemaker - Weezer
Morning Person - Fiona & Pied Piper
I Gotta Feeling - The Black Eyed Peas

Ben's Playlist - Monday, September 7, 2009

You Can't Always Get What You Want - Randy Kaplan
Ride of the Valkyries - Richard Wagner
Wishing Well - Renee & Jeremy
Rock With You - Michael Jackson
It Don't Come Easy - Ringo Starr
All Around the World - Red Hot Chili Peppers
Too Much Going On - Mike Viola & The Candy Butchers
Say Hey (I Love You) - Michael Franti & Spearhead
Sullivan McGulligan - Hullabaloo
Boogie Monster - Recess Monkey
Art Car - The Hipwaders

Ben's Playlist - Friday, September 4, 2009

One Love People Get Ready - Bob Marley
Dancin' At The Revolution - Peter Alsop
Sing The Changes - Paul McCartney
My Angry Voice - The Sippy Cups
Mad World - Tears For Fears
Nonagon - They Might Be Giants
My Best Friend - Weezer
Mr. Tough - o La Tengo
Chicken Noodle Soup - Yosi
Bouncing Off the Walls - Mr. Leebot

Ben's Playlist - Thursday, September 3, 2009

Ice Is A Solid - Dorothy Collins
The Thank You Song - Uncle Rock
Cathy's Clown - The Everly Brothers
Shpilkas - Bunny Clogs
What's So Funny 'Bout Peace Love and Understanding - Elvis Costello
I Think I got You Beat - Shrek & Fiona
The World Is Not Enough - Garbage
Seven is the New Fourteen - Sippy Cups
The Climb - Miley Cyrus
If Not For You - George Harrison

Ben's Playlist - Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Wings of An Eagle - Ziggy Marley
Every Day is a Summer Day - Keith Munslow
Green Teeth - The Zucchini Brothers
Smooth Operator - Sade
She's Like a Rainbow - Rolling Stones
Dinosaurs - Billy Gorilly
Two Princes - Spin Doctors
My Lucky Day - Bruce Springsteen
Careless Whisper - Seether
Get A Clue - ScribbleMonster

Ben's Playlist - Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Smile - Ky-Mani Marley
We Live in a Dump - They Might Be Giants
Don't Dream It's Over - Crowded House
Bomba Te Traigo Yo - Jose Gonzalez y Banda Criolla
It Don't Come Easy - Ringo Starr
Use Somebody - Kings Of Leon
Unsupervised - Mono Puff
Nicky Nicky Knock - Dream Jam Band
The Books I Like to Read - The Hipwaders

Ben's Playlist - Monday, August 31, 2009

Love My Kitty - The Good Mrs. Padgett
I'll Come Running - Brian Eno
Love in My Food - Killian Mansfield
I Always Sit When I Eat - Moey's Music Party
Every Day is a Summer Day - Keith Munslow
It Don't Come Easy - Ringo Starr
One Day Soon - The Sippy Cups
My Green Kite - Peter Himmelman
Rattle My Bones - The Suburbs
Best Friends Forever - AudraRox
Home - David Tobocman

Ben's Playlist - Friday, August 28, 2009

What Is An Animal? - Marais & Miranda
I Love My Library - Lunch Money
Dr. Wiggle - Recess Monkey
Still Fighting It - Ben Folds Presents: The Washington University In St. Louis's Mosaic Whispers
FunkyFrogz - Doctor Noize
Senses Working Overtime - XTC
Fitz and the Dizzyspells - Andrew Bird
Love Runs Deeper - Lindsey Buckingham
That Thing You Do! - The Wonders
Favorite Names - Key Wilde & Mr. Clarke

Ben's Playlist - Thursday, August 27, 2009

Muffin Man - The Nields
Midnight - Mel Glazer
My Hair Had a Party Last Night - Trout Fishing in America
Sun Is Shining - Paul McCartney
Super - Pencilhead and the Playground Punks
Vertical Lines - Papas Frias
Why Does the Sun Really Shine? - They Might Be Giants
Head Over Heals - Tears For Fears
The Singer Is The Song - Tom Chapin
Happy Birthday - The Ting Tings

Ben's Playlist - Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Moonrock Mambo - Yo La Tengo
Green Teeth - The Zucchini Brothers
Susanne (Single Version) - Weezer
The Books I Like to Read - The Hipwaders
Aaron Burr - Deedle Deedle Dees
I Got You - Split Enz
(Don't Give Me That) Broccoli - The Phenomenauts
I Am a Paleontologist (with Danny Weinkauf) - They Might Be Giants
My Best Friend - Weezer
Shock the Monkey - Peter Gabriel
Sweet Pea - The Honeydogs

Ben's Playlist - Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Ben Intro - Jeff and Ben
Ella's Song - Sweet Honey in the Rock
Indiana Jones Theme - John Williams
Linger - The Cranberries
Bouncing Off the Walls - Mr. Leebot
You Make Me Feel Good - Q Brothers
Shake It Up - Milkshake
I Gotta Feeling - The Black Eyed Peas
Groove Is In The Heart - Dee-Lite
Keep On Knocking - Little Richard

Ben's Playlist - Monday, August 24, 2009

Sanford and Son - Quincy Jones
Go Now - The Moody Blues
Sesame Street - The Hipwaders
Heart Songs - Weezer
Mercy Mercy Me - Marvin Gaye
Heart of the Country - Wings
Walk Tall - Ziggy Marley
In Your Eyes - Peter Gabriel
Balloon Man - Robyn Hitchcock
What a Wonderful World - The Ramones
Fort - Recess Monkey
The Addams Family theme

Ben's Playlist - Thursday, August 20, 2009

The Face Of The Earth Is Changing - Marais & Miranda
Smile - Ky-Mani Marley
The Many Adventures Of Winnie The Pooh - Disney
Olive's Olives - Bunny Clogs
Oseh Shalom - Dan Zanes
400 Cupcakes - Hullabaloo
5on5 - Kat Vellos
Underdog - Spoon
Gimme Some Lovin' - The Blues Brothers
Buggy Hop - Jim Cosgrove
Choo'n Gum - Maria Muldaur

Ben's Playlist - Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Three Little Birds - Bob Marley
We're Making Heat - Dorothy Collins
Very Good Question - Uncle Rock
Sanford and Son - Quincy Jones
I Always Sit When I Eat - Moey's Music Party
When We Was Fab - George Harrison
That's How We Make A Sandwich - Duplex
I Need A Nap - Kate Winslet & "Weird Al" Yankovic
Say It Ain't So - Weezer
I'm Only Happy When It Rains - Garbage
Everyone Asked About You - Bob McGrath
Nicky Nicky Knock - Dream Jam Band

Ben's Playlist - Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Wonder of Birds - Innocence Mission
Anakin's Betrayal - John Williams
Have You Seen My Chicken? - Sweetback Sisters
High Five - They Might Be Giants
Human Fly - Hank Hooper
At The Bottom Of The Sea - Ralph's World
Clap Your Hands - Mary Timony
Everybody Wants To Rule the World - Tears For Fears
Coconut Woman - Karl Zero & THE Wailers
Unusual Zoo - Dennis Caraher
Welcome Table - Dan Zanes
I Like It Like That - Dave Clark Five

Ben's Playlist - Monday, August 17, 2009

Southern California - Brian Wilson
Happy Birthday - The Ting Tings
Landed - Ben Folds Presents: The University Of Colorado Buffoons
Supercalifragilsticexpialidocious - Ben Rudnick & Friends
Banana Seat Bike - Ralph's World
It Was A Saturday Night - Brady Rymer
Working On A Dream - Bruce Springsteen
Sowing The Seeds Of Love - Tears For Fears
The World Has Turned and Left Me Here - Weezer
New York New York - Cat Power

Ben's Playlist - Friday, August 14, 2009

Green Teeth - The Zucchini Brothers
Shout - Tears For Fears
Heart of the Country - Wings
Senses Working Overtime - XTC
It Must Be Summer - Fountains Of Wayne
That Thing You Do! - The Wonders
It's Hot Don't Touch It! - Uncle Rock
Welcome to the Jungle Gym - Mr. Saxophone
Everybody Get Dangerous - Weezer
Ants in the Kitchen - YellowKat

Ben's Playlist - Thursday, August 13, 2009

One Two Three Four - Feist
How Many Times - Mel Glazer
I LIke Blue Lemurs - Baby Loves Jazz
Boiled Okra and Spinach - Trout Fishing In America
It Wasn't Me - Mr. Leebot
Belly Button - Ralph's World
Can't Stop - Red Hot Chili Peppers
Shake in the Middle - Kaiser George
I Like To Move It - Sacha Baron Cohen
(Don't Give Me That) Broccoli - The Phenomenauts
I'm Alright - Kenny Loggins
Reading Makes Me Want to Dance Out Loud - Monty Harper
I Like It Like That - Dave Clark Five

Ben's Playlist - Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Warm Fronts, Cold Fronts - Tom Glazer
Look, Look! - Steve Weeks
Moonrock Mambo - Yo La Tengo
Spider Song - Mr. Chris & The Gassy Bubbles
Strawberry Jam - Michelle Shocked
Lonely Tomato - Board of Education
Say It Ain't So - Weezer
What's That Smell - Mr. Oscat
Hey World - Michael Franti & Spearhead
Eek! Ack! Help! Police! - Lucas Miller

Ben's Playlist - Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Zoom A Little Zoom - Tom Glazer & Dottie Evans
Let It Be Me - The Everly Brothers
I'll Come Running - Brian Eno
Mushaboom (Mocky Mix) - Feist
Sun Is Shining - Paul McCartney
Careful What You Pack - They Might Be Giants
She Just Doesn't Get It - Yosi & the Superdads
Hey Ya - Booker T
Midtown Greenway - Bunny Clogs
Gravity - Robbert Bobbert and the Bubble Machine

Ben's Playlist - Monday, August 10, 2009

It Don't Come Easy - Ringo Starr
B.A.T.H. - The Not-Its
Living in the Metro - Vinx
Eating Some Pizza - Robbi K
Walk Tall - Ziggy Marley
Mr. Tough - Yo La Tengo
Twist and Shout - The Beatles
Every Day's a Holiday With You - The Jimmies
Run Molly Run - Sweet Honey in the Rock
We Live in a Dump - They Might Be Giants

Ben's Playlist - Friday, August 7, 2009

Older - They Might Be Giants
Heart of the Country - Wings
Better Together - Jack Johnson & Buena Vista Social Club
Bein' a Kid - The Zucchini Brothers
Alphabet Soup - Tom Chapin
Only in Dreams - Weezer
Don't Dream It's Over - Crowded House
Have Fun - Secret Agent 23 Skidoo
Rag & Bone - The White Stripes
The Way I Am - Ingrid Michaelson

Ben's Playlist - Thursday, August 6, 2009

Ben Is Prepared to Rock - Bill and Ella
Why Does the Sun Really Shine? - They Might Be Giants
Hey There Delilah - Plain White T's
The Entertainer - Scott Joplin & George Gershwin
Under the Bridge - Red Hot Chili Peppers
Photograph - Ringo Starr RINGO
One Is The Loneliest Number - Three Dog Night
Something So Strong - Crowded House
Lover In The Snow - Rivers Cuomo
Can't Stop (Don't Mess With the Dragon) - Ozomantli
My Angry Voice - The Sippy Cups

Ben's Playlist - Wednesday, August 4, 2009

The Girl From Ipanema - Astrud Gilberto
Mushaboom (Mocky Mix) - Feist
Down To Earth - Peter Gabriel
Oh My My - Ringo Starr
Daniel In The Den - Dan Zanes
The Hoppity Song - Starfish
Two Princes - Spin Doctors
Not The Same - Ben Folds Presents: The Spartones From Greensboro, NC
Calendar Girl - Neil Sedaka

Ben's Playlist - Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Buddy Holly's Got the Hiccups - Uncle Rock
What Kind of Dog Are You? - Billy Jonas
Busy Bees - Recess Monkey
She's Like a Rainbow - Rolling Stones
Six Months in a Leaky Boat - Split Enz
Chick A Boom Boom - Mocean Worker
If Not For You - George Harrison
Smile - The Jayhawks
SOS (Rescue Me) - Rihanna
Anchovie - Moby

Ben's Playlist - Monday, August 3, 2009

Heart Songs - Weezer
Where Did I Go Wrong - UB40
We Are Going To Be Friends - The White Stripes
My Darling Clementine - The Submarines
Pussycat - Twink
You Make Me Feel Good - Q Brothers
The Greatest Love of All - Whitney Houston
Gimme One Reason - Tracy Chapman
Burning Down The House - Talking Heads

Ben's Playlist - Friday, July 31, 2009

Leave the Bees Alone - Uncle Rock
I Love You (More Than My Shoe) - Roger Day
Eleven Easy Steps - Trout Fishing In America
Walk Tall - Ziggy Marley
The Way You Do The Things You Do - UB40
She Just Doesn't Get It - Yosi & the Superdads
Celebrate - Three Dog Night
Sowing The Seeds Of Love - Tears For Fears
Undone (The Sweater Song) - Weezer
That Thing You Do! - The Wonders
The Addams Family (TV theme)

Ben's Playlist - Thursday, July 30, 2009

Bein' a Kid - The Zucchini Brothers
It Comes Naturally (The Monkey Song) - Mr. Willy
Hey Ya - Booker T
Can't Help Falling In Love - UB40
Wishin' Around - ScribbleMonster
Again! - Brady Rymer
Working On A Dream - Bruce Springsteen
Yakkety Yak - The Coasters
The Climb - Miley Cyrus
Midtown Greenway - Bunny Clogs
Ants in the Kitchen - YellowKat

Ben's Playlist - Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Good Morning Blues - Randy Kaplan
Keep Me In Your Heart - Warren Zevon
ABC - The Nields
Please and Thank You - Princess Katie and Racer Steve
Heart of the Country - Wings
Mr. Tough - Yo La Tengo
I Wanna Rock - Twisted Sister
If You Could Only See - Tonic
Sun Is Shining - Paul McCartney
Senses Working Overtime - XTC
The Thank You Song - Uncle Rock

Ben's Playlist - Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Green Teeth - The Zucchini Brothers
Let It Be Me - The Everly Brothers
Moonrock Mambo - Yo La Tengo
Linger - The Cranberries
Let the Day Begin - The Call
My Angry Voice - The Sippy Cups
Working On A Dream - Bruce Springsteen
Viva la Vida - Coldplay
Teach Your Children Well - CSNY
Nicky Nicky Knock - Dream Jam Band

Ben's Playlist - Monday, July 27, 2009

Why Go Up There? - Tom Glazer & Dottie Evans
One Two Three Four - Feist
Jay Leno Show - Mel Glazer/Charlie Weiss
Caboose - Lunch Money
In The Summertime - Mungo Jerry
Island In The Sun - Weezer
We R Super Heroes - Robbert Bobbert and the Bubble Machine
(Don't Give Me That) Broccoli - The Phenomenauts
My Green Kite - Peter Himmelman
Everybody Get Dangerous - Weezer
Super - Pencilhead and the Playground Punks
Best Friends Forever - AudraRox
The Great Compromise - The Not-Its

Ben's Playlist - Friday, July 24, 2009

Very Good Question - Uncle Rock
Hole Hearted - Extreme
I'll See You On the Moon - Great Lake Swimmers
Look At Yourself In The Mirror - DidiPop
When We Was Fab - George Harrison
Beautiful Ride - Dewey Cox
Moonrock Mambo - Yo La Tengo
What's on the List - Stephen Fite
Holding Out for A Hero - Frou Frou
Troublemaker - Weezer

Ben's Playlist - Thursday, July 23, 2009

Bein' a Kid - The Zucchini Brothers
Nicky Nicky Knock - Dream Jam Band
We Are Going To Be Friends - The White Stripes
Angel On Your Shoulder - Mel Glazer
Mr. Tough - Yo La Tengo
Senses Working Overtime - XTC
Don't Stay - Laura Izibor
It Wasn't Me - Mr. Leebot
The Greatest Love of All - Whitney Houston
Chicken Noodle Soup - Yosi
Ants in the Kitchen - YellowKat

Ben's Playlist - Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Wings of An Eagle - Ziggy Marley
Look, Look! - Steve Weeks
Fragilidad - Sting & Buena Vista Social Club
You Don't Know Me - Ben Folds Feat. Regina Spektor
Deep Deep Water - Mel Glazer
The Girl From Ipanema - Sergio Mendez
Your Blue Door - The Honeydogs
Careless Whisper - Seether
Barking At the Moon - Jenny Lewis
Catch Us If You Can - Dave Clark Five

Ben's Playlist - Tuesday, July 21, 2009

What Is Gravity? - Tom Glazer & Dottie Evans
Spongebob Squarepants Theme Song - Spongebob Squarepants
Still Fighting It - Ben Folds Presents: The Washington University In St. Louis's Mosaic Whispers
Mermaid Molly - Maria Sangiolo
Heart of the Country - Wings
Surfin' In My Imagination - Ralph's World
Shpilkas - Bunny Clogs
If You Could Only See - Tonic
It Must Be Summer - Fountains Of Wayne
Favorite Names - Key Wilde & Mr. Clarke
Dinosaurs - Billy Gorilly
Buggy Hop - Jim Cosgrove

Ben's Playlist - Monday, July 20, 2009

Why Does The Sun Shine? - Tom Glazer & Dottie Evans
Beautiful - Paul Simon
I Need A Nap - Kate Winslet & "Weird Al" Yankovic
Calypso Chill - Maria Alley
On The Wings Of A Nightingale - The Everly Brothers
Open Up Your Eyes - Tonic
Hyperactive - Thomas Dolby
Head Over Heals - Tears For Fears
(Don't Give Me That) Broccoli - The Phenomenauts
Seven is the New Fourteen - Sippy Cups
It's Hot Don't Touch It! - Uncle Rock

Ben's Playlist - Friday, July 17, 2009

Snowflake, Snowflake - Tom Glazer
Take My Hand - Dewey Cox
There's A Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow - They Might Be Giants
Jedi Theme - John Williams
I Got You - Split Enz
Back To Black - Amy Winehouse
Big Brown Package - Dave Taylor
The Singer Is The Song - Tom Chapin
Mad World - Tears For Fears
Careless Whisper - Seether
Be Good Johnny - Men At Work

Ben's Playlist - Thursday, July 16, 2009

Ballad Of Sir Isaac Newton - Tom Glazer & Dottie Evans
Wishing Well - Renee & Jeremy
Your Room's A Mess - Rock Daddy Rock
New York New York - Cat Power
She Just Doesn't Get It - Yosi & the Superdads
Walk Tall - Ziggy Marley
Chick A Boom Boom - Mocean Worker
Boom Boom Pow (Clean) - The Black Eyed Peas
Susanne (Single Version) - Weezer
I'm Only Happy When It Rains - Garbage
That Thing You Do! - The Wonders

Ben's Playlist - Wednesday, July 15, 2009

How Clouds Are Formed - Tom Glazer
One Love People Get Ready - Bob Marley
Sing The Changes - Paul McCartney
Jewish Girls (At the Matzoh Ball) - The LeeVees
My Lucky Day - Bruce Springsteen
I Go Swimming - Peter Gabriel
New Day - Secret Agent 23 Skidoo
Don't Stay - Laura Izibor
The World Is Not Enough - Garbage
Love Runs Deeper - Lindsey Buckingham

Ben's Playlist - Tuesday, July 14, 009

Motion, Motion Everywhere - Tom Glazer & Dottie Evans
Three Little Birds - Renee & Jeremy
Smoothie - Kimya Dawson
Pit Paddle Paddle - Astrograss
I Always Sit When I Eat - Moey's Music Party
Obama Song - Michael Franti & Spearhead
What's So Funny 'Bout Peace Love and Understanding - Elvis Costello
The Great Compromise - The Not-Its
Welcome to the Jungle Gym - Mr. Saxophone
He's Okay - Sugar Free All-Stars
The Climb - Miley Cyrus
The Birds Have A Language - Marais & Miranda

Ben's Playlist - Monday, July 13, 2009

Why Is It Hot In The Summer? - Tom Glazer
Leave the Bees Alone - Uncle Rock
Holidays Gone Crazy - Wee Hairy Beasties
Moonrock Mambo - Yo La Tengo
My Green Kite - Peter Himmelman
We R Super Heroes - Robbert Bobbert and the Bubble Machine
All Ready To Go! - ScribbleMonster
Cathy's Clown - The Everly Brothers
I Gotta Feeling - The Black Eyed Peas
That Thing You Do! - The Wonders
Supergirl - Cathy Heller
Donkey Song - Graham Walker

Ben's Playlist - Friday, July 10, 2009

Why Go Up There? - Tom Glazer & Dottie Evans
One Dozen Monkeys - They Might Be Giants
I Like Fruit - Egg
I Love My Library - Lunch Money
Swimming Pool - Submarines
Cool To Be Uncool - The Jimmies
Eep Opp Ork Ah-Ah - Violent Femmes
Please Don't Stop the Music - Rihanna
The Tide Is High - Blondie
Fitz and the Dizzyspells - Andrew Bird
Cartwheels & Somersaults - Justin Roberts
Where Does The Sun Go At Night? - Dorothy Collins Experiment Songs

Ben's Playlist - Thursday, July 9, 2009

Jesus Sweet Jesus - Mel Glazer
Accidentally - Keith Munslow
I Can Help - Mr. Saxophone
On The Wings Of A Nightingale - The Everly Brothers
Take a Chance On Me - ABBA
History Never Repeats - Split Enz
Toolmaster - Trip Shakespeare
Gotta Be Somebody - Nickelback
Vertical Lines - Papas Frias
Sunny Delight - Breakestra

Ben's Playlist - Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Happy Birthday - Altered Images
If a Dinosaur Was My Friend - Phil Melancon
Spanimals - The Jimmies
Big Pet Pig - Key Wilde & Mr. Clarke
Troublemaker - Weezer
Keep On Walking - Jem
Underdog - Spoon
Boom Boom Pow - The Black Eyed Peas
Midtown Greenway - Bunny Clogs
Poker Face - Lady Gaga
Aidan's Train - The Hipwaders

Ben's Playlist - Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Stratus And Cumulus - Tom Glazer
Wings of An Eagle - Ziggy Marley
Deep Deep Water - Mel Glazer
Diablo Rojo - Rodrigo y Gabriela
Green Eggs And Ham - DylanHearsAWho
Senses Working Overtime - XTC
What's on the List - Stephen Fite
My Best Friend - Weezer
Puttin On the Ritz - Taco
Dinosaurs - Billy Gorilly
The Secret Life of Six - They Might Be Giants

Ben's Playlist - Monday, July 6, 2009

Ice Is A Solid - Dorothy Collins
Green Teeth - The Zucchini Brothers
Unsupervised - Mono Puff
Teach Your Children Well - CSNY
5on5 - Kat Vellos
Mr. Tough - Yo La Tengo
Let the Day Begin - The Call
Just Can't Get Enough - Depeche Mode
Swingin' Willie - The Brian Setzer Orchestra
Favorite Names - Key Wilde & Mr. Clarke

Ben's Playlist - Friday, July 3, 2009

E-lec-tri-city - Tom Glazer & Dottie Evans
Bomba Te Traigo Yo - Jose Gonzalez y Banda Criolla
Reading Makes Me Want to Dance Out Loud - Monty Harper
Best Friends Forever - AudraRox
Hey Ya - Booker T
Toolmaster - Trip Shakespeare
Underdog - Spoon
Goods - Mates of State
I'm Only Happy When It Rains - Garbage
I LIke Blue Lemurs - Baby Loves Jazz

Ben's Playlist - Thursday, July 2, 2009

Zoom A Little Zoom - Tom Glazer & Dottie Evans
Rudi A Message For You - The Specials
Goin' on a Road Trip - Suzi Shelton
Over in the Meadow - Little Miss Ann
The World Is Not Enough - Garbage
Summer's Here - Robbi K
Hyperactive - Thomas Dolby
Chicken Noodle Soup - Yosi
The Greatest Day On Earth - Roger Day
Little Miss Can't Be Wrong - Spin Doctors
Together Tomorrow - Tom Chapin

Ben's Playlist - Wednesday, July 1, 2009

How Clouds Are Formed - Tom Glazer
Strawberry Jam - Michelle Shocked
Bein' a Kid - The Zucchini Brothers
Cathy's Clown - The Everly Brothers
What's That Smell - Mr. Oscat
Anchovie - Moby
Rag & Bone - The White Stripes
Supergirl - Cathy Heller
Oseh Shalom - Dan Zanes
The World Has Turned and Left Me Here - Weezer
Ants in the Kitchen - YellowKat

Ben's Playlist - Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Mary Is Prepared to Rock - Bill and Ella
Spider Man - They Might Be Giants
Heart of the Country - Wings
Not The Same - Ben Folds Presents: The Spartones From Greensboro, NC
Everyday Sunshine - Fishbone
Seven is the New Fourteen - Sippy Cups
Midtown Greenway - Bunny Clogs
The Bluegrasshopper - Secret Agent 23 Skidoo
Lonely Tomato - Board of Education
Shadow - Mommie

Ben's Playlist - Monday, June 29, 2009

Cousin Molly Is Prepared to Rock - Bill and Ella
Unusual Zoo - Dennis Caraher
Supercalifragilsticexpialidocious - Ben Rudnick & Friends
New York New York - Cat Power
If Not For You - George Harrison
Confessions of a Teenage Lima Bean - Bunny Clogs
Moving Out (Anthony's Song) - Billy Joel
It Must Be Summer - Fountains Of Wayne
Chick A Boom Boom - Mocean Worker
Wonder of Birds - Innocence Mission
Dr. Wiggle - Recess Monkey

Ben's Playlist - Friday, June 26, 2009

Ballad Of Sir Isaac Newton - Tom Glazer & Dottie Evans
One Two Three Four - Feist
Little Red Riding Hood - Freakwater
The Many Adventures Of Winnie The Pooh - Disney Four Parks, One World
Boogie Monster - Recess Monkey
The Way I Am - Ingrid Michaelson
Gravity - Robbert Bobbert and the Bubble Machine
Down To Earth - Peter Gabriel
One Is The Loneliest Number - Three Dog Night
Super - Pencilhead and the Playground Punks
Let It Be Me - The Everly Brothers

Ben's Playlist - Thursday, June 25, 2009

Southern California - Brian Wilson
The Birds Have A Language - Marais & Miranda
Moonrock Mambo - Yo La Tengo
Everybody Wants To Rule the World - Tears For Fears
Big Pet Pig - Key Wilde & Mr. Clarke
Butter - Bunny Clogs
Big Wide Wonderful World - Chris Isaak
Catch Us If You Can - Dave Clark Five
Say It Ain't So - Weezer
Calendar Girl - Neil Sedaka
Eek! Ack! Help! Police! - Lucas Miller

Ben's Playlist - Wednesday, June 24, 2009

How Sweet It Is - James Taylor
Your Room's A Mess - Rock Daddy Rock
Wings of An Eagle - Ziggy Marley
Too Shy - Kajagoogoo
Ben - Michael Jackson
Spider Song - Mr. Chris & The Gassy Bubbles
Donkey Song - Graham Walker
Vertical Lines - Papas Frias
Green Eggs And Ham - DylanHearsAWho.com
Two Princes - Spin Doctors
Cool For Cats - Squeeze

Ben's Playlist - Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Warm Fronts, Cold Fronts - Tom Glazer
Linus and Lucy - Vince Guaraldi Trio
Caboose - Lunch Money
I Bring You Love - Mel Glazer
Pirates Don't Take Baths - Medeski Martin & Wood
One Of Us - Joan Osborne
The Bluegrasshopper - Secret Agent 23 Skidoo
Seven is the New Fourteen - Sippy Cups
Hey World - Michael Franti & Spearhead
There's A Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow - They Might Be Giants
Long Tall Sally - Little Richard

AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ANDREA!!!

Ben's Playlist - Monday, June 22, 2009

Xavier Xerxes Xeonphanes X - Steve Weeks
Love Plus One - Nick Heyward
Olive's Olives - Bunny Clogs
Purple People Eater - Ray Stevens
I Got You - Split Enz
Where It's At - Beck
Coming Up - Paul McCartney & Wings
King Of The Alphabet - Ralph's World
Imitation Of Life - R.E.M.
Buggy Hop - Jim Cosgrove

Ben's Playlist - Friday, June 19, 2009

Ben Is Prepared to Rock - Bill and Ella
Look, Look! - Steve Weeks
Honey Honey - Feist
History Never Repeats - Split Enz
He's Okay - Sugar Free All-Stars
Accidentally - Keith Munslow
Wide Open Spaces - The Dixie Chicks
Working On A Dream - Bruce Springsteen
Summer Holiday - Chris Isaak
Viva la Vida - Coldplay
Buggy Baloo - D. Jay

Ben's Playlist - Thursday, June 18, 2009

How Clouds Are Formed - Tom Glazer
Eek! Ack! Help! Police! - Lucas Miller
Leave the Bees Alone - Uncle Rock
Big Pet Pig - Key Wilde & Mr. Clarke
What's That Smell - Mr. Oscat
Sunny Delight - Breakestra
You Don't Know Me - Ben Folds Presents: The University Of Georgia's With Someone Else's Money
Strawberry Jam - Michelle Shocked
One Dozen Monkeys - They Might Be Giants
Come On Over - Jessica Simpson
Anchovie - Moby
Sweet Pea - The Honeydogs
Poker Face - Lady Gaga
The Thank You Song - Uncle Rock

Ben's Playlist - Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Zoom A Little Zoom - Tom Glazer & Dottie Evans
Holidays Gone Crazy - Wee Hairy Beasties
Seven is the New Fourteen - Sippy Cups
Goods - Mates of State
Hey Ya - Booker T
Swimming Pool - Submarines
Underdog - Spoon
Two Princes - Spin Doctors
I'm Only Happy When It Rains - Garbage
Eep Opp Ork Ah-Ah - Violent Femmes

Ben's Playlist - Tuesday, June 16, 2009

E-lec-tri-city - Tom Glazer & Dottie Evans
Science Fair - Trout Fishing in America
Fragilidad - Sting & Buena Vista Social Club
Messy Room Song - The Hipwaders
Smooth Operator - Sade
Sowing The Seeds Of Love - Tears For Fears
Toolmaster - Trip Shakespeare
The World Has Turned and Left Me Here - Weezer
Your Blue Door - The Honeydogs

Ben's Playlist - Monday, June 15, 2009

What Is Gravity? - Tom Glazer & Dottie Evans
Bomba Te Traigo Yo - Jose Gonzalez y Banda Criolla
Spider Man - They Might Be Giants
Walk Tall - Ziggy Marley
She's Like a Rainbow - Rolling Stones
The Rainbow - Apples in Stereo
Everyday Sunshine - Fishbone
New Day - Secret Agent 23 Skidoo
Let's Get Funky - Stephen DiRaffaele
Delilah 3 - Tom Jones
Reading Makes Me Want to Dance Out Loud - Monty Harper

Ben's Playlist - Friday, June 12, 2009

What Is An Animal? - Marais & Miranda
Alley Cat - Chet Atkins
What's New Pussycat? - Ralph's World
Chick A Boom Boom - Mocean Worker
Never Gonna Be Bored! - Adam and the Couch Potatoes
Driver Education - Indigo Girls
Ocean Man - Ween
Grace's Bell - Ben Rudnick
Tears Dry On Their Own - Amy Winehouse
Trees - Dog on Fleas
One Thing Leads To Another - The Fixx
Hank's Little Finger - Guided By Voices

Ben's Playlist - Thursday, June 11, 2009

Stratus And Cumulus - Tom Glazer
Green Teeth - The Zucchini Brothers
What Are You Like - Indigo Girls
Moonrock Mambo - Yo La Tengo
Vertical Lines - Papas Frias
Best Friends Forever - AudraRox
Pork and Beans - Weezer
Shout - Tears For Fears
Handle With Care - Traveling Wilburys
That Thing You Do! - The Wonders

Ben's Playlist - Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Leave the Bees Alone - Uncle Rock
Warm Fronts, Cold Fronts - Tom Glazer
Too Shy - Kajagoogoo
A Mover La Colita - La Sonora Dinamita
Mushaboom (Mocky Mix) - Feist
She Just Doesn't Get It - Yosi & the Superdads
Stay-At-Home Dad - Justin Roberts
The Bird That You Can't See - Apples in Stereo
Lonely Tomato - Board of Education
Buddy Holly's Got the Hiccups - Uncle Rock
We R Super Heroes - Robbert Bobbert and the Bubble Machine
New York New York - Cat Power

Ben's Playlist - Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Connected - Uncle Rock
A Taste of Honey - Herb Alpert & the Tijuana Brass
Born Free - Hans Zimmer
Deep Deep Water - Mel Glazer
Mermaid Molly - Maria Sangiolo
Sweet Pea - The Honeydogs
Oseh Shalom - Dan Zanes
Li'l Things - Strange Kidz
The Hoppity Song - Starfish
Can't Stop (Don't Mess With the Dragon) - Ozomantli
Banana Seat Bike - Ralph's World

Ben's Playlist - Monday, June 8, 2009

Zoom A Little Zoom - Tom Glazer & Dottie Evans
Wings of An Eagle - Ziggy Marley
Lover In The Snow - Rivers Cuomo
Smile - The Jayhawks
Cathy's Clown - The Everly Brothers
Green Eggs And Ham - Dylan Hears A Who
History Never Repeats - Split Enz
Have Fun - Secret Agent 23 Skidoo
The World Is Not Enough - Garbage
Vertical Lines - Papas Frias
Anchovie - Moby

Ben's Playlist - Friday, June 5, 2009

Love in My Food - Uncle Rock
Walk Tall - Ziggy Marley
The Bunny Hop - Warren Covington
Keep Fishin' - Weezer
Ocean Man - Ween
Two Princes - Spin Doctors
Hey Ya - Booker T
Eep Opp Ork Ah-Ah - Violent Femmes
Cantaloop - Us3
Underdog - Spoon
(You're Not) The Boss of My Brain - Tom Chapin

Ben's Playlist - Thursday, June 4, 2009

The Face Of The Earth Is Changing - Marais & Miranda
Aaron Burr - Deedle Deedle Dees
Your Room's A Mess - Rock Daddy Rock
Not The Same - Ben Folds Presents: The Spartones From Greensboro, NC
Good People - Jack Johnson
Goods - Mates of State
Anchovie - Moby
Strawberry Jam - Michelle Shocked
Mocking Bird - James Taylor & Carly Simon
Wishin' Around - ScribbleMonster
Messy Room Song - The Hipwaders

Ben's Playlist - Wednesday, June 3, 2009

E-lec-tri-city - Tom Glazer & Dottie Evans
Look, Look! - Steve Weeks
Linus and Lucy - Vince Guaraldi Trio
Oye Como Va - Carlos Santana
Daniel In The Den - Dan Zanes
The Bluegrasshopper - Secret Agent 23
Swimming Pool - Submarines
Rag & Bone - The White Stripes
Say It Ain't So - Weezer
Calendar Girl - Neil Sedaka

Ben's Playlist - Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Motion, Motion Everywhere - Tom Glazer & Dottie Evans
Bomba Te Traigo Yo - Jose Gonzalez y Banda Criolla
Let's Get Funky - Stephen DiRaffaele
Holding Out for A Hero - Frou Frou
Have Fun - Secret Agent 23 Skidoo
Say It Isn't So - Hall and Oates
El Canario - Dan Zanes
Beverly Hills - Weezer
Reading Makes Me Want to Dance Out Loud - Monty Harper
Shpilkas - Bunny Clogs
Allergies - Barenaked Ladies

Ben's Playlist - Monday, June 1, 2009

The Girl From Ipanema - Astrud Gilberto
Calypso Chill - Maria Alley
Velveeta Girl and Squatsy - Bunny Clogs
Down To Earth - Peter Gabriel
Supergirl - Cathy Heller
Under the Bridge - Red Hot Chili Peppers
Poker Face - Lady Gaga
Obama Song - Michael Franti & Spearhead
Troublemaker - Weezer
Welcome to the Jungle Gym - Mr. Saxophone

Ben's Playlist - Friday, May 29, 2009

King Of The Alphabet - Ralph Covert
Over in the Meadow - Little Miss Ann
Senses Working Overtime - XTC
Mr. Tough - Yo La Tengo
When You Grow Up - Rock Daddy Rock
Hey Ya - Booker T
What's That Smell - Mr. Oscat
One Dozen Monkeys - They Might Be Giants
Ants in the Kitchen - YellowKat
Can't Stop (Don't Mess With the Dragon) - Ozomantli

Ben's Playlist - Thursday, May 28, 2009

Why Is It Hot In The Summer? - Tom Glazer
LearningSpring Song - Kyle Kelso
Little Sack of Sugar - Harmonica Pocket
What Kind of Dog Are You? - Billy Jonas
History Never Repeats - Split Enz
Green Teeth - The Zucchini Brothers
We Are Going To Be Friends - The White Stripes
Your Room's A Mess - Rock Daddy Rock
Sullivan McGulligan - Hullabaloo
Where's the Music - Medeski Martin & Wood
My Green Kite - Peter Himmelman
My Best Friend - Weezer
The Addams Family - TV Theme Songs

Ben's Playlist - Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Where Does The Sun Go At Night? - Dorothy Collins
I Got You - Split Enz
Accidentally - Keith Munslow
On The Wings Of A Nightingale - The Everly Brothers
Toolmaster - Trip Shakespeare
I Can Dance - Trout Fishing in America
Eep Opp Ork Ah-Ah - Violent Femmes
Super - Pencilhead and the Playground Punks
Catch Us If You Can - Dave Clark Five
Please Don't Stop the Music - Rihanna
Cool To Be Uncool - The Jimmies
Photograph - Weezer

Ben's Playlist - Tuesday, May 26, 2009

What Is Gravity? - Tom Glazer & Dottie Evans
No No No Cha Cha Cha - Brave Combo
What's New Pussycat? - Ralph's World
Senses Working Overtime - XTC
I Love My Library - Lunch Money
Favorite Names - Key Wilde and Mr. Clarke
I Like Fruit - Egg
Mr. Tough - Yo La Tengo
That Thing You Do! - The Wonders
Buddy Holly - Weezer
All Around the World - Red Hot Chili Peppers
Chicken Noodle Soup - Yosi

Park It Here, Jewboy

A Hasid walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He says he is going to Europe on business for 2 weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.

The bank officer says he will need some kind of security for such a loan. So the Hasid hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce parked on the street in front of the bank.

Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the Rolls into the banks underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later the Hasid returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.

The loan officer says, "We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why you would bother to borrow $5,000?"

The Hasid replied, "Where else in New York can I park my car for two weeks for $15?"

Ben's Playlist - Friday, May 22, 2009

Bein' a Kid - The Zucchini Brothers
Moonrock Mambo - Yo La Tengo
Sun Is Shining - Paul McCartney
Where It's At - Beck
Keep Fishin' - Weezer
Stay Up Late - Talking Heads
Summer Holiday - Chris Isaak
Unsupervised - Mono Puff
Together Tomorrow - Tom Chapin

Ben's Playlist - Thursday, May 21, 2009

Fitz and the Dizzyspells - Andrew Bird
Senses Working Overtime - XTC
Love Runs Deeper - Lindsey Buckingham
Photograph - Weezer
Hyperactive - Thomas Dolby
Sunny Delight - Breakestra
Mad World - Tears For Fears
Take A Bow - Leona Lewis
Don't You Forget About Me - Simple Minds
Pussycat - Twink

Ben's Playlist - Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Three Little Birds - Renee & Jeremy
What Is Gravity? - Tom Glazer & Dottie Evans
Hey Ya - Booker T
Green Teeth - The Zucchini Brothers
Favorite Names - Key Wilde and Mr. Clarke
Over in the Meadow - Little Miss Ann
Reading Makes Me Want to Dance Out Loud - Monty Harper
Holding Out for A Hero - Frou Frou
Rag & Bone - The White Stripes
Can't Stop (Don't Mess With the Dragon) - Ozomantli
Three Caballeros - Grand Fiesta Tour

Ben's Playlist - Tuesday, May 19, 2009

All My Toys Are Broken - AudraRox
Everybody Wants To Rule the World - Tears For Fears
Li'l Things - Strange Kidz
Only in Dreams - Weezer
I Like Fruit - Egg
Stop & Stare - OneRepublic
The Hoppity Song - Starfish
Heart Songs - Weezer
Smoothie - Kimya Dawson

Ben's Playlist - Monday, May 18, 2009

It's A Puzzle - Trout Fishing in America
Play Outside Today - Uncle Rock
Where Do They Make Balloons? - They Might Be Giants
On The Wings Of A Nightingale - The Everly Brothers
Fernando - ABBA
What's So Funny 'Bout Peace Love and Understanding - Elvis Costello
All Around the World - Red Hot Chili Peppers
Cool To Be Uncool - The Jimmies
Sowing The Seeds Of Love - Tears for Fears
Allergies - Barenaked Ladies

Ben's Playlist - Friday, May 15, 2009

Still Fighting It - Ben Folds Presents: The Washington University In St. Louis's Mosaic Whispers
Olive's Olives - Bunny Clogs
I Can't Wait for Summer - Eric Herman & the Invisible Band
Cathy's Clown - The Everly Brothers
Again! - Brady Rymer
Vertical Lines - Papas Frias
One of Our Submarines - Thomas Dolby
Keep Fishin' - Weezer
Viva la Vida - Coldplay
Ocean Man - Ween

Ben's Playlist - Thursday, May 14, 2009

Holidays Gone Crazy - Wee Hairy Beasties
Wishing Well - Renee & Jeremy
I Love My Library - Lunch Money
Mr. Tough - Yo La Tengo
Landed - Ben Folds Presents: The University Of Colorado Buffoons
Happy Birthday - Altered Images
Seven is the New Fourteen - Sippy Cups
Where It's At - Beck
5on5 - Kat Vellos
Donkey Song - Graham Walker

Ben's Playlist - Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Wake Me Up - Norah Jones
How Clouds Are Formed - Tom Glazer
Junk Food Jump - Trout Fishing in America
Ice Is A Solid - Dorothy Collins
Even Numbers - They Might Be Giants
Still Fighting It - Ben Folds Presents: The Washington University In St. Louis's Mosaic Whispers
Big Pet Pig - Key Wilde & Mr. Clarke
The Way I Am - Ingrid Michaelson
Shout - Tears For Fears
The World Has Turned and Left Me Here - Weezer
Let It Be Me - The Everly Brothers

Ben's Playlist - Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Up! - Steve Weeks
Cathy's Clown - The Everly Brothers
Goods - Mates of State
Not The Same - Ben Folds Presents: The Spartones From Greensboro, NC
Baldy - Deedle Deedle Dees
King Of The Alphabet - Ralph Covert
That Thing You Do! - The Wonders
Everybody Get Dangerous - Weezer
Two Princes - Spin Doctors
Pit Paddle Paddle - Astrograss

Ben's Playlist - Monday, May 1, 2009

Zoom A Little Zoom - Tom Glazer & Dottie Evans
Times Like These - Jack Johnson
Moonrock Mambo - Yo La Tengo
On The Wings Of A Nightingale - The Everly Brothers
Smile - The Jayhawks
The Face Of The Earth Is Changing - Marais & Miranda
You Don't Know Me - Ben Folds Presents: The University Of Georgia's With Someone Else's Money
The Greatest Love of All - Whitney Houston
The Good Life - Weezer
What's On Your Shirt? - The Jimmies

Ben's Playlist - Friday, May 8, 2009

I LIke Blue Lemurs - Baby Loves Jazz
Connected - Uncle Rock
ABC - The Nields
Diablo Rojo - Rodrigo y Gabriela
The Window - Trout Fishing in America
If a Dinosaur Was My Friend - Phil Melancon
El Scorcho - Weezer
Everyday Sunshine - Fishbone
Head Over Heals - Tears For Fears
Two Princes - Spin Doctors

Ben's Playlist - Thursday, May 7, 2009

Fire And Rain - James Taylor
Better In Time - Leona Lewis
He's Okay - Sugar Free All-Stars
One of Our Submarines - Thomas Dolby
Love Runs Deeper - Lindsey Buckingham
Susanne (Single Version) - Weezer
Hot 'N Cold - Katy Perry
What's That Smell - Mr. Oscat
What's New Pussycat? - Tom Jones

Ben's Playlist Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Ben Is Prepared to Rock - Bill and Ella (Spare the Rock intro)
Three Little Birds - Bob Marley
Zoom A Little Zoom - Tom Glazer & Dottie Evans (Space Songs)
Underdog - Spoon
Bomba Te Traigo Yo - Jose Gonzalez y Banda Criolla
Donkey Song - Graham Walker
Diablo Rojo - Rodrigo y Gabriela
El Canario - Dan Zanes
There's A Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow - They Might Be Giants
All Ready To Go! - ScribbleMonster
Shadow - Mommie

Ben's Playlist Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Why Does The Sun Shine? - Tom Glazer & Dottie Evans (Space Songs)
It's A Small World - Disney's Four Parks, One World - Walt Disney World
Walk Tall - Ziggy Marley
Daniel In The Den - Dan Zanes
One Is The Loneliest Number - Three Dog Night
Sun Is Shining - Paul McCartney (aka the Fireman)
Butter - Bunny Clogs
Sunny Delight - Breakestra
Rag & Bone - The White Stripes
Eek! Ack! Help! Police! - Lucas Miller

Who's the Boss?

(Completely dated now due to sexual harassment; dates back to the 1970s):

Boss wants to have sex with his secretary, but she has a boyfriend. Finally he asks her flat out, "Let's have sex - I'll pay you $100."

She refuses. He replies, "I'll throw it on the floor - you bend over - as soon as you stand up, it's over."

She calls her boyfriend, who says, "Tell him to make it $200 and bend over as soon as he throws the cash down. He won't even get inside."

They agree to seal the deal that afternoon. The boyfriend waits for the call - and it comes 45 minutes later. "What took so long," he asks.

The secretary replies, "The bastard used pennies!"

For Seal Lovers Only

One day, an eskimo was riding his snowmobile to work and noticed that it was running poorly. He stopped at the repair shop to have them look at it.

The repairman said, "We're kind of busy right now, but why don't you go across the street to the cafe and have something to eat, then stop back and see me in a few hours."

So the eskimo went to the cafe and returned to the repair shop two hours later. The eskimo asked the repairman, "What did you find?"

The repairman said, "I think that you blew a seal."

The eskimo replied (after wiping his mouth), "No, I just had ice cream!"

The Price Is Right

Man was in an accident and his penis was chopped off. He was rushed to the hospital where the doctor examined him, and after careful examination said, "We can replace it with a small size for $2,000, a medium size for $5,000, or an extra-large size for $10,000. I realize it's a lot of money, so take your time and talk it over with your wife."

When the doctor came back into the room he found the man staring sadly at the floor.

"We've decided," the man told him as he choked back tears. "My wife says she'd rather have a new kitchen!"

Hey Doc!

A man goes to his doctor and says, "Doc, I think I have a sexual problem. I can't get excited when I'm with my wife."

The doctor tells him to come back the next day with his wife, which he does.

The doctor takes the couple into the examining room and asks the wife to undress. "Turn all the way around," he tells her. "Lie down, please. Uh-huh, I see. Ok, you may put your clothes back on."

The doctor takes the husband aside. "You're in perfect health," he telle the man. "Your wife didn't give me an erection either."

Two Drunks Stumble Into a Bar...

Two drunks wake up in an alley, pool their money, and realize they only have 50 cents between them. "How are we going to get drunk on 50 cents?" asks one.

The other drunk has an idea. They go to 7-11 and buy one frozen hot dog.

The drunks go to a local bar and order two drinks. When the bartender turns his back, the first drunk unzips his fly and stick the hot dog in his pants. The second drunk falls to his knees and begins sucking the hot dog.

The bartender turns, sees this and screams, "Get out of here you perverts!"

They pull this stunt at 15 bars.

Finally, the second drunk says, "Hey, I can't go on. My knees are killing me."

The first drunk replies, "Yeah, me too. I lost the hot dog after the sixth bar!"

Captain Bravo's Pirate Joke

Captain Bravo was a manly man of the sea who showed no fear when facing his enemies.

While sailing the seven seas one morning, his lookout spotted a pirate ship on the horizon, panicking the crew. Captain Bravo bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!"

The first mate quickly retrieved Captain Bravo's red shirt and whilst wearing the bright frock, he led his crew into battle and defeated the pirates.

Days later, the lookout again spotted not one, but two pirate ships. The captain again howled for his red shirt and once again they vanquished the pirates.

That evening, all the men sat around on the deck recounting the day's triumphs and one of the them asked the captain: "Sir, why do you call for your red shirt before battle?"

Captain Bravo replied, "If I am ever wounded in an attack, the red shirt will not show the wound. Thus, you men will continue to resist, unafraid."

The men sat in silence and marveled at the courage of such a manly man.

As dawn broke the next morning, the lookout once again spotted not one, not two, but TEN pirates ships approaching. The rank and file all stared at Captain Bravo, who calmly shouted, "Get me my brown pants!"

The Barber Joke

A priest goes into a barbershop and gets a haircut. After, he thanks the barber and asks how much he owes him. The barber says, "Father, you're a holy man, a man of the cloth, I couldn't charge you, it's on the house." The priest says, "Thank you very much," and leaves.

The next day, magically appearing on the doorstep of the barbershop are 12 gold coins.

A few days later, a Buddhist monk goes in for a shave and a shine, and when the time comes to pay, the barber says, "No money, please, you're a spiritual leader, a man of the people, it's on the house."

The next day, magically appearing on the doorstep are 12 rubies.

The following week a rabbi comes in, gets a haircut, goes to pay, and the barber says, "No, Rabbi, you are a learned man, a wise man, I can't take any money from you, go in peace."

The next day, magically appearing on the doorstep of the barbershop are 12 rabbis.

It's A Cute Problem

A humor column I wrote in April 1998 for a (now) defunct Queens, NY weekly publication. It never saw print, until this post!

Cute women are a problem. Well, not necessarily all cute women. Most cute women, in fact, are reasons to wake up, eat breakfast, get dressed, go to the park, and hide in the tall grass with your binoculars. But I digress.

The cute women who cause problems are the ones you know personally. More specifically, ones know who because they know your wife. Most precisely, the cute women you know because they are your wife's friends.

Before anyone starts running for the phone book to call my cute and lovely wife, I am not confessing to anything that any other married man hasn't ever hought about. At certain times, I have glanced at a woman my wife knows (and girls she knew when we were just dating) and thought,' She looks kind of cute." Naturally, and perhaps I should say, sadly, this has happened less and less the longer we've been married.

Now before anyone starts running for the phone book to call the friends of my cute and lovely wife, I am not going to name any names. Age, bad job choices, lifestyle, and clothing and haircut changes have taken their tool on many of us. I did not write this piece to be cruel and calculated and say, "Sheila has pigged out since she turned 30." It was the furthest thing from my mind. All names in this article have been changed to protect, well, me!

In college, my wife and I both knew Alice, a girl who worked at the school paper. During these halcyon days, Alice regularly attended weekend screenings of the audience-participation favorite, "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." She would get dressed down in white bra and panties and dance on stage with the rest of the troupe. While I never went to one of her performances, I have seen a famous photo taken by my friend, Jim, of Alice bending over to adjust her stockings. But I digress.

Alice, who was quite cute, was quite aware of her cuteness and took full advantage. This is the most dangerous type of cute girl -- one who manipulates the system to the fullest. One afternoon, she came into the paper's offices dressed in a man's shirt. I assume Alice had underwear on, but that was the extent of her outfit. Walking past while she was on the phone, I heard her announce happily, "I caused a traffic accident walking to school this morning!"

After graduation, I fell out of touch with Alice. Then Jim called me and said he was driving through Forest Hills, saw her at a bus stop, and gave her a lift down Queens Boulevard. "And?" I asked expectantly. "She's lost it," Jon sighed. Whatever combination of the elements had hit her, Alice was no longer a cute girl.

Most of the time you can avoid cute women. Not that most men want to avoid them. At most offices, it's an unspoken rule to have a 8:1 male-to-cute woman ratio. My company is no different, although we recently relocated. This shifted the most readily-available cute women from my floor to a different floor in another part of our new building. Like hunter/gatherers, the men immediately went on the prowl, breaking out blueprints and floor plans to determine where the "new" hot spots were in the quest to rediscover cute women.

It's truly annoying when your wife asks about cute women. On our anniversary several years ago, I told my wife that when we had first started dating, Jim had asked if I would mind giving him her phone number if "things didn't work out" between the two of us.

"Don't worry," my wife responded, "I wouldn't go out with any of your friends." For no reason, she added, "Too bad I can't say the same thing about you."

"What are you getting at?" I asked.

"Come on, you think that some of my friends are cute!" she said.

"Like who?" I retorted. A direct answer would have been catastrophic.

"Like Denise," she replied.

I laughed. "Denise must have gained at least 20 pounds since I've known you," I said. "Proportionally, I can only imagine what she's going to look like in 10 years!"

"Well, what about Caroline?"

Caroline worked in a beauty salon. It was the best possible world for her, since without hair and nails, her conversation skills were nil. "Caroline's brain is bottle-bleached and shrunken from too much time under a hair dryer," I said.

She gave it one more try. "I know you like Marti."

I shook my head. "Marti dates more losers than Drew Barrymore," I said. "I'd hate to think what kind of microbes are sliming their way through her internal systems."

For some reason, these answers did not please my wife. Here it was, our anniversary, and she was mad at me -- and for what?

"I can't believe you're mad at me because I'm not attracted to your friends!" I gasped.

It took a moment for this to sink in. She looked at me and asked, "You're not just saying that, right?"

She looked so cute. And you know what I say about cute women....

You've Always Got Your Health

humor column I wrote, circa 1998:

I couldn't find my left glove. I must have looked under every car down Bell Boulevard in Bayside, but it stayed hidden. I racked my brain trying to remember if I might have left the glove on the train. Perhaps when I had thrust both into one pocket, the left one accidentally fell out. In any case, the glove was gone.
I recounted this bitter experience to Vin and Hank, while Hank was puttering around under the hood of his car (again). Vin gave me a sideways glance and shrugged. "Oh well," he sighed, tugging at the collar of his Evan Picone shirt. "At least you've got your health."
For as long as I can recall, adults had been imparting this particular piece of advice. This was an august occasion -- the first time a peer in my age group had chosen to use these sage words.
"Vin, do you realize you now have something in common with my mother?" I gasped.
He paused, shoke his head, and replied, "Let me tell you something -- she's right. For you, it was a glove. For me, it was a shoe."
Voice choked with emotion, Vin told me and Hank how, last winter, he had fallen in love. Not with any mere woman, but with a darling pair of Rockport BusiPlex Shoes. Knowing the weather wouldn't be right for such a purchase for at least another few months, Vin ignored the tempresses. They stared out at him from the shoe store window, but he stayed firm in his resolve.
Then one morning on the 7 train, the playing field changed. The store was running a 30 percent off sale. Vin's beloved shoes were suddenly at a bargain price. Faced with man's eternal dilemma, he caved.
That evening, Vin unwrapped the Rockport BusiPlex Shoes and walked them around his apartment. "I was airing them out," he explained. "You need to break these puppies in slowly."
He repeated the procedure for the next week or so. Vin managed to keep the purchase secret from the rest of us the entire time, a new record! On the eighth day, Vin dressed and wore the shoes when he went to meet us for dinner. Although it had rained that morning, the afternoon heat had evaporated all puddles. Vin was satisfied that nothing could destroy the pristine nature of these Rockport BusiPlex Shoes.
Stepping off the curb, Vin looked both ways. Auto traffic was far in the distance. The road ahead was gravelly and dry. He took the first step, right into dog droppings.
Vin could go no further when he reached this point in his tale. Hank took off his hat and we both bowed out heads in respect. "So you can see, gentlemen, that your health has to remain most important, to keep everything else in perspective."
Hank nodded solemnly. "A couple of years back, my aunt got real sick," he said. "I mean, my folks were talking in hushed tones and I caught my mom crying."
"What was wrong with her?" asked Vin.
Hank thought this over, scratching his back with a socket wrench. "We never did find out," he answered. "All I know is that she drove a 1972 Corvette, with the six-cylinder engine, and that she was going to leave it to me in her will."
For Hank, this would have been a better legacy than any amount of cash. Cars were his passion, and he practically had oil in his veins.
"Anyway, she finally passed on, and after a spectacular funeral, we were all summoned to the reading of the will," Hank said.
Every member of his family was there -- wizened Grandpa Milburn, heart-broken Uncle Al, self-centered cousins Deacon and LeRoy, and Hank's immediate clan.
The lawyer went down the list, checking off items left and right, but Hank's name never came up. He kept track, and the 1972 Corvette was never bequeathed to anyone.
After the session, Hank approached the lawyer. "Oh, yes, the car..." the legal expert said. Hank almost belted him, out of respect for the Corvette. "Your aunt had specified certain conditions for her funeral. In order to pay for them, your uncle sold the car."
Hank said the next thing he remembered was waking up in his bed, fully-clothed, pages torn from car magazines strewn around his bedroom. "Your health.... be thankful for your health," he gulped.
I went through my pockets to try to find them both tissues to wipe their teary eyes. Hidden in the lining, I discovered something -- my left glove!
"I found it! I found the glove!" I shouted, pulling the glove from my pocket with such force that my arm rammed the wall. "Ouch! I think I broke a finger!"
Vin walked over and took a look. "Yep, I think you have to go the emergency room and have it set," he affirmed.
I clutched my damaged digit and started for the driveway.
Hank shouted after me, "At least you found your glove!"
I privately wished him a bad case of smallpox.

Surreal Moments In Pro Wrestling

Pitched as an article for STUFF magazine in 2003. There's been a ton of new stuff since then:

* The debut of the Shockmaster
Booker Dusty Rhodes decides to rip off the Vader character (big fat guy in a menacing mask) and taps pal Fred Ottman (later WWF's Tugboat/Typhoon). Sting and Davey Boy Smith announce they're bringing in their big pal for a six-man match - the Shockmaster. On live TV, Ottman, blinded by the mask and flashpots, trips and stumbles - and the mask falls off.

* Ivory Wrestles in a Long Skirt
The WWF gives Ivory the gimmick of an old-style school marm (in an attempt to parody the right wingers who disapproved of Vince's T&A stuff) and she attempts to wrestle in a long skirt. During a PPV match against Lita, Ivory slips doing a highspot and lands a real kick to the side of Lita's head, drawing "hardway" blood. The audience is stunned to see a female wrestler bleeding during a match.

* The Gobbledy Gooker
Vince decided the way to draw in kids was to create a mascot who would come to the ring at each house card and dance with young children. Hey, if they ran a split crew, they could send two guys out in the suit. For a month, a giant egg was rolled to ringside before cards. On live PPV, it hatched - and Mean Gene Okerlund went in to dance with the creature, as Vince and Roddy Piper shilled that this was loads of fun. It laid such a giant egg that it hasn't been seen since.

* New Jack Punks Eric Kulas
At an ECW show on Staten Island, New Jack carves up the forehead of novice wrestler Eric Kulas, who wears a bus driver uniform for his gimmick as "Mass Transit." Ringside fans are sickened by the buckets of blood pouring from Kulas' head as he is taken to the hospital, and he later sues ECW. Apparently Kulas, then 17, who came to the show with his father, lied about his age and level of wrestling experience. The promotion felt confident about winning the suit until a videotape of the incident - and New Jack's brutal slashing - hits the Internet. The civil suit is eventually dismissed due to inconsistencies in Kulas' story, but the scar on his forehead remains.

* Drew Carey in Royal Rumble
Promoting his improv PPV the week after the Rumble, Carey appears on the Rumble PPV and is thrown into the match at #4. He stands around while Jeff and Matt Hardy wrestle. Kane enters and he attempts to buy him off. This kills enough time for Raven to come in and attack Kane, so Carey can jump out of the ring and eliminate himself.

Some other examples to consider:

* The Cat Crosses Nudity Line
(Stacy Carter, Jerry Lawler's girlfriend at the time, flashes her chest on live PPV)

* Hulk Hogan Burns Copy of Wrestling Observer Newsletter on PPV
(Pissed about his heel turn leaking out, Hogan trashes the "sheets" and throws copy into a fire

* Kerry Von Erich Announces Divorce in the ring, Asks girls for Phone Numbers
(Kerry's wife moves out, he tells female fans that he's available and looking for action)

* HHH Humps Katie Vick in the Casket
(From last year - HHH accuses Kane of killing his ex-girlfriend. They run a tasteless video of HHH in a Kane mask visiting a funeral home, climbing into a coffin, and simulating sex with a corpse)