Man was in an accident and his penis was chopped off. He was rushed to the hospital where the doctor examined him, and after careful examination said, "We can replace it with a small size for $2,000, a medium size for $5,000, or an extra-large size for $10,000. I realize it's a lot of money, so take your time and talk it over with your wife."
When the doctor came back into the room he found the man staring sadly at the floor.
"We've decided," the man told him as he choked back tears. "My wife says she'd rather have a new kitchen!"
A Rich man and Poor man are riding the elevator. Poor man asks the rich man what he got his wife for Christmas. Rich man says, "I got her a diamond ring and a Mercedes." Poor man asks, "Why both?" Rich man says "Because if she doesn't like the ring she can drive herself in the Mercedes and return it.
ReplyDeleteThe Rich man asks, "What did you get your wife?" The poor man says "I got her a pair of slippers and a dildo." Rich man asks the poor man "Why both?" Poor man responds, "if she don't like the slippers she can go fuck herself."